Meet Jane
A Letter From Jane
Counselor. Survivor. Warrior. Founder of the #SAYHISNAME® movement.
Hello Dear Hearts,
I'VE HAD IT.
As a counselor with over 30 years experience, I have witnessed the chronic sickness of sexual assault victims being hesitant to report. It is with great concern and a deep sense of responsibility that I write to address this critical matter.
This issue affects countless individuals worldwide. The three main reasons for not reporting are: persistent pressure from "rape culture," lack of support from our legal system, and the weight of shame.
Any statistic you find regarding sexual assault will always be far lower than the actual number. The scars from trauma and fear of being blamed prevent victims from reporting. The average time it takes a victim to report, whether they were an adult or child at the time of the assault, is 40–50 years. Most people will NEVER report.
Our legal system won't support her. If a victim does muster the courage to report and is lucky enough to go to trial, she won't get justice. A sentence will be handed down that is all too brief considering the weight of the crime, a crime that will affect the rest of her life.
The victim will go through weeks and possibly months of a grueling trial that will lay open and dissect every detail of her sexual assault over and over. She will be badgered and blamed by opposing counsel and will have to go through all of this in front of her rapist or pedophile. It is going back to a traumatic memory and being exposed and raped, over and over by the same man in a very public way. The victim risks being scrutinized by the general public, lawyers and even the judge.
Slut-shaming comments are made by reporters, judges, friends and family members of the rapist: "Keep your legs together… All this fuss over 20 minutes of action… She deserved it."
I wonder if a man could better fathom what sexual assault is if he imagines being put into prison unjustly. Now he is living in a tiny cell with a huge roommate who's been alone for years. Every night his enormous roommate pulls him out of bed, bends him over, yanks down his pants and forces anal sex on him. Maybe imagining this would help a male judge understand the severity and long-lasting mental and emotional effects of the attack.
Given the extreme shame they carry and lack of support in our culture, I ask for the act of sexual assault to be considered on par with murder.
Isn't it a kind of murder? A woman, man or child who is sexually assaulted completely changes in that moment. The person who they were dies. When a person is murdered, maybe they are released into a state of peace. Whereas when a person is raped, they live on in pain, sometimes for decades.
Sexual assault is not just a crime against an individual, it is an attack on the very fabric of our society. We all share the responsibility for change. Please stand with me and take action in any way you can!
I have created a specialized therapy technique for healing trauma. If you feel moved to schedule a counseling session with me, it would be my honor to serve you.
In the meantime, all of my love to you Dear Hearts.
— Jane E. Fendelman MC
HER STORY
I was 12. This is what happened, and how I became who I am.
Jane is not just a counselor who advocates for survivors. She is one. Raped at 12, silenced by shame, and locked for 18 years in a darkness that almost ended her, Jane emerged, built a revolutionary healing method, and has since helped tens of thousands reclaim their lives. Her full memoir, #SAYHISNAME, is the story of her journey from victim to Victorious.
Jane E. Fendelman, MC
Counselor · Author · Speaker · Founder, #SAYHISNAME
Jane Fendelman earned a Bachelor of Science in Education from Southwest Missouri State University in 1982, and a Master of Counseling graduate degree from the University of Phoenix in 1994. She is an individual, marriage/couples, and child-family expert and is a twice-certified Hospice Worker, Grief Counselor, Critical Incidence Debriefing Specialist, and Omni-Denominational Minister. Jane also works with LGBTQ+ communities.
Jane is the founder of the Fendelman Metanoia Counseling Method for transformation. Metanoia is a total reversal in thinking or a spiritual awakening. This is not psychotherapy. Jane will not assess, analyze, pigeonhole, categorize, diagnose, or medicate you. She will not tell you there's something wrong with you. Jane is a counselor and a healer. She will see you, the person, not an illness.
If you've been trapped, heading in one direction, stuck in a rut for years, Jane's Metanoia Counseling Method will entirely change the trajectory of your life 180 degrees. You will experience a revolution in your entire way of proceeding in the world. Jane gives you actionable tools to break old self-sabotaging patterns, intimacy and relationship issues, and overcome fears in all areas. She ensures you will excel in your personal and professional life.
Jane has served more than 40,000 people and has over 25 years of experience.
Named Top 3 Counselors in Phoenix — ThreeBest Rated