As a counselor with over 30 years experience, I have witnessed the chronic issue of sexual assault victims being hesitant to report.  It is with great concern and a deep sense of responsibility that I write to address this critical matter.

 

This issue affects countless individuals worldwide.  The three main reasons for not reporting are: persistent pressure from "rape culture,” lack of support from our legal system, and the weight of shame.

 

Any statistic you will find regarding sexual assault will always be far lower than the actual number.  The scars from the trauma and fear of being blamed, prevent victims from reporting.  I have noticed that the average time it takes a victim to report, whether they were an adult or child at the time of the assault, is 40-50 years.  Many will never report unless they hear that others have come forward to report on the same perpetrator. Most people will NEVER report. 

 

Our legal system won't support her.  If a victim does muster the courage to report and is lucky enough to go to trial, she won't get justice.  A sentence will be handed down that is all too brief considering the weight of the crime… a crime that will affect the rest of her life.

 

The victim will go through weeks and possibly months of a grueling trial that will lay open and dissect every detail of her sexual assault over and over.  She will be badgered and blamed by opposing counsel and will have to go through all of this in front of her rapist or pedophile. It is going back to a traumatic memory and being exposed and raped over and over by the same man in a very public way. The victim risks being scrutinized by the general public, the lawyers and even the judge.

 

Slut-shaming comments are made by reporters, judges, friends and family members of the rapist; such as "Keep your legs together… All this fuss over 20 minutes of action… She deserved it... His penis was in your mouth. Why didn't you bite?"

 

I wonder if a man could better fathom what sexual assault is if he imagines being put into prison unjustly. Now he is living in a tiny cell with a huge roommate who's been alone for years. Every night his enormous roommate pulls him out of bed, bends him over, yanks down his pants and forces anal sex on him. Maybe imagining this would help a male judge understand the severity and long-lasting mental emotional effects of the attack.

 

Given the extreme shame they carry and lack of support in our culture, I ask that the act of sexual assault be considered on par with murder. 

 

Isn't it a kind of murder? A woman, man or child who is sexually assaulted completely changes in that moment and the person who they were dies. In fact, a spiritual person might believe murder to be lesser of a crime than a sexual assault. When a person is murdered, maybe they are released into a state of peace.  Whereas when a person is raped they live on in pain, sometimes for decades.

 

Sexual assault is not just a crime against an individual... it is an attack on the very fabric of our society.  We all share the responsibility for change.  Please stand with me and take action in any way you are can!

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I have created a specialized therapy technique for healing trauma.  If you feel moved to schedule a counseling session with me, it would be my honor.  

 

In the meantime, all of my love to you Dear Hearts!

 

                                    Jane