Hello dear hearts...
As a counselor with 28 years of experience, I have witnessed firsthand the chronic issue of sexual assault victims being hesitant to report such crimes. It is with great concern and a deep sense of responsibility that I write to address this critical matter that affects countless individuals worldwide. The three main reasons for not reporting are chronic and persistent "rape culture”, shame, and lack of support from our legal systems.
I have noticed that the average time it takes for a victim to report, whether they were an adult or a child at the time of the assault, is 40-50 years. Some people will never report. Some will never report unless they hear that other people have come forward to report on the same perpetrator first.
Court systems won't support her, a sentence will be handed down that is all too brief considering the weight of the crime… a crime that will affect her for the rest of her life.
The victim will go through weeks and possibly months of a grueling trial, recounting every detail of their sexual assault over and over. They will be badgered and accused by opposing counsel and they will have to go through all of this, in front of their rapist or pedophile. It is an experience of being exposed and raped over and over by the same man, in a very public way. The victim risks being scrutinized by the general public, the lawyers and the judge.
Comments are made by reporters, judges, friends and family members of the rapist such as, "Keep your legs together… All this for 20 minutes of action… She deserved it... His penis was in your mouth. Why didn't you bite?"
I wonder if a man could better fathom what sexual assault is, if he imagines being put into prison unjustly. Now he is living in a tiny cell with a huge roommate who's been alone for years. Every night his enormous roommate, pulls him out of bed, bends him over, yanks down his pants and forces anal sex on him. Maybe imagining this would help a male judge understand the severity and long-lasting mental emotional effects of the attack.
Given the extreme shame they carry and lack of support in our culture for victims of sexual assault, I ask that the act of sexual assault be considered on par with murder.
Isn't it a kind of murder? A woman or child who is sexually assaulted completely changes and the person who she was, dies. In fact, a spiritual person might believe murder to be lesser of a crime than a sexual assault. When a person is murdered, maybe they are released into a state of peace, whereas, when a person is raped, they live in pain sometimes for decades.
Sexual assault is not just a crime against an individual; it is an attack on the very fabric of our society. We all share the responsibility for change. Please stand with me and take action in any way you are able to!
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I have created specialized therapy techniques for healing this kind of trauma. If you feel moved to get in touch or take a counseling session with me, it would be my honor. In the meantime, all of my love to you dear hearts!
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-Jane