Abolish Rape Culture

1. All Sexual Violence to be recognized and prosecuted as domestic terrorism in the United States and the world.

2. Abolish Statutes of Limitations: Advocate for the immediate abolition of Statutes of Limitations for Sexual Assault in every state. This will enable survivors to report whenever they feel ready to, without the burden of time constraints.

3. Retroactive Application: Ensure that the new laws apply retroactively, giving survivors the opportunity to seek justice for past offenses. This will bring closure to many who have silently endured their trauma for years.

4. Mandatory FBI Comprehensive Full-Scope Polygraph: Require mandatory FBI full-ccope polygraph for both accused sex offenders. The FBI uses Sodium pentothal, a truth serum that can improve the accuracy of testimonies and help establish the truth.

5. Sensitivity and Awareness Training for Law Enforcement: Implement comprehensive sensitivity and awareness training for all police officers, not just those in specialized sex crime units. This will equip law enforcement with the knowledge and empathy necessary to handle sexual assault cases with utmost care.

6. Education for Prevention: Introduce mandatory education programs in schools, starting from kindergarten and continuing throughout a student's academic journey, to foster greater sensitivity, responsibility and respect for femininity and sexuality. Teach boys and young men about consent, healthy relationships, and the importance of respecting personal boundaries.

7. Mandatory Prison Sentences and Counseling: Establish a mandatory prison sentence of a minimum of three years for first-time offenders. During their prison stay, require them to attend weekly individual and group sex offender counseling to address the underlying issues contributing to their actions.

8. Regulation of Pornography: Advocate for the regulation of pornography to promote a more balanced and respectful portrayal of sexuality. Encourage pornography that depicts consensual relationships and emphasizes mutual respect and consent between partners.

9. Strengthen Support for Survivors: Increase support systems for survivors of sexual assault, including counseling, therapy and support groups. Promote initiatives that empower survivors to come forward and report their cases with confidence.

10. Warrants to Search Suspects' Devices: Expedite the process of obtaining warrants from judges, on call 24 hours, to search the social media platforms, emails and devices of suspected sex offenders. This will help gather crucial evidence and form a profile of the accused to aid in the investigation.

11. Raise Awareness and End Victim-Blaming: Launch comprehensive public awareness campaigns to end victim-blaming and promote a culture of empathy and understanding. Educate society about the importance of supporting survivors and holding perpetrators accountable.

How we think
How we speak
How we respond to a victim who is a family member, friend, student or counseling client (how to respond when you're not a cop)
How to respond if you ARE a cop
Stop calling sensitivity and compassion "woke"
A human lacking compassion is not a whole human
Encourage other countries
Provide a safe haven for Women all over the world

"A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step."

Gray Rape

The term "Gray Rape" was coined in 2007. It describes sexual encounters where consent is not definitively clear.

Oftentimes, the confusion is blamed on the use of drugs or alcohol consumption. However, as a therapist, most of the Gray Rape cases I see were due to a man pressuring his date, girlfriend, or wife to have sex even though she didn't want to.

The man might pout, bellow, or fly into a full-on rage until the woman finally acquiesces.

GRAY RAPE IS RAPE

Why Did You Come Forward Now

"Why is she just coming forward now? She's just being vengeful"

That makes my head want to explode!

That woman that you don't believe, that you think somehow wanted it or deserved it has probably been frozen in time. Paralyzed from that trauma.

Was she acting or dressing provocatively? Was she a prostitute so she deserved what she got?

SHE WAS PROBABLY SEXUALIZED FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE.

That woman that you judge or discount was either molested, sexually harassed, or oggled from a very young age BECAUSE OF RAPE CULTURE.

Because we say, "boys will be boys" or "that's just locker room talk."

No. That is objectifying women and girls.

I understand the power and pull of the Great Mystery. But let's talk about it that way.

You've probably heard ... Get over it ... It's in the past ... It's not that big of a deal ... I don't believe you ... NOBODY we'll believe you ... You're a slut ... Probably liked it ... Etc

You probably just wanted it in the rearview mirror. You just want to forget about it. Pretend it didn't happen. But subconsciously, you are profoundly affected.

You don't trust men. It affects your work or school. You start to feel broken inside and your relationships suffer. You feel like there's something wrong with you. You feel alone and unlovable.

I saw a young woman for depression a long time ago. She was 2. She had a deep and dark depression that she could not shake. She felt suicidal off and on throughout most of her young life.

As my client and I explored more deeply, she mentioned that she was very uncomfortable around her father. When I asked her if he had ever touched her inappropriately, she told me he hadn't.

As we spoke further, I discovered that her father was a voyeur.

For people who don't understand, imagine someone sexually assaulted you. You are completely traumatized, and you just want to move on. Then he's elected president or something. Now he's flashing in front of your face every time the news comes on.

It's wholly triggering and it can absolutely inspire you to finally come forward now.

Rape Culture Mentality:

You should have known better

No one will believe you

You are making it up to be vindictive

It was your fault, you shouldn't have worn that.

You looked sexy

You shouldn't have flirted

You shouldn't have drunk that much

You shouldn't have gone there

You need to let it go

It's in the past

It's not that big a deal, you're overreacting.

Your past will be dredged up, and you're no saint either

You will lose your job

Your family will disown you

It's his word against yours so don't bother

That’s just locker room talk

Boys will be boys

That was years ago… you should be over that by now

Why do you want to disrupt his whole family and life?

You’re just a scorned Woman

You’re a slut, a nymphomaniac, a homewrecker, you’re loose,

You brought it on yourself and on and on...

Every single weight loss and wrinkle commercial, CoolSculpting blue jeans that lift your ass, hair removal, perfume for your smelly private parts, (etc). Every single f*cking commercial designed to improve your body or your look should be geared toward men, NO LONGER FEATURING WOMEN AND WAYS FOR THEM TO FIX THEIR BODY or trying to tell them that "there is something so obviously wrong with women bodies and the way they look" (that was sarcasm in case you missed it).