The girl who got raped and became great:
I randomly came out of denial at age 30 after watching the movie "Thelma and Louise," that I was attacked and raped by a 15-year-old boy, when I was 12.
I came from a family of good "soldiers."
Soldiers meaning...
Don't complain, don't talk about your feelings or the past, just shut your mouth and keep marching.
I didn't tell anyone about the rape.
In fact, I risk judgment even now at age 65, for laying down in print, what I am saying here.
From age 12 until 30, I had no idea how that wound affected every area of my life. I didn't even recognize it as a wound. Being a virgin, I had no point of reference for sex and what it was supposed to be.
I was scared I would get in trouble. I thought I had done something wrong.
My grades plummeted and overnight I turned from a bright, curious, open-hearted little girl, to a dark, suspicious, guarded, troubled child. I didn't realize it but, the sexual assault affected every area of my life.
No one asked me what happened. They just assumed I had turned bad.
Throughout my 20's I had numerous jobs, none of which were my "calling." My father once referred to me as a "tumbleweed" who couldn't stick with a job. At his suggestion, I got a real estate license, in hopes of winning his approval.
By age 30 I got divorced, quit my job as a realtor, had a heartbreakingly lonely birthday and hit rock bottom.
I was falling into a deep depression.
Every counselor I went to, and every book I read made the trauma worse.
Therapeutic techniques were either too direct and took me back to the moment of trauma thereby re-traumatizing me ("you have to feel it to heal it" philosophy), or were too indirect, opening a floodgate of uncontrollable emotion (as in EMDR or tapping).
Eventually, I was suicidal.
I began to realize what was missing from those healing techniques...
A sense of Empowerment.
Not knowing that I was about to take an action that would put me on the track of a career I would 100% love, heal trauma for not only myself but for thousands of others and shape my destiny for the next 35 years, I developed my own therapeutic technique for healing trauma.
I started healing immediately. I healed not only the rape, but a multitude of traumatic moments from my life. My heart opened and I felt like a soaring eagle. Not only were my spirits buoyant and lifted, but my life purpose changed to a profound commitment to service to humanity.
Within a year, I went back to college and got a Master of Counseling degree. I completed a 3-year degree in 2 years and have been an Individual, Couples and Family counselor for 30 years now.
I had no idea I was an "A" student.
I graduated near the top of my class, have not only helped 1000's heal trauma in just one session, even after they'd tried years of counseling, I've also been recognized as one of Phoenix's Top Three Marriage Counselors the last 8 years in a row.
Please remember my Friend, under tons of pressure from life, your lumps of coal will become your Diamonds.
Trust your instincts and the powerful current of life. Have faith that out of your pain, your gifts will be born.
A multitude of people will try to stop you. They'll try to get you to keep your mouth shut while you're on the journey to realizing your true life's calling.
You might be the subject of lies and gossip, criticized, ostracized, you might feel like you're all alone. You might feel like the black sheep, the weirdo in your family or like you're the only one seeing the truth.
But don't stop!
You must risk everything and everyone to follow your dreams and be your true self. IT IS WORTH THE RISK!
And just remember, you are in good company.
You shining your Light as only you can, reminds them of how small they are living. They are frightened.
Mercy on them.
Added Bonus Risk:
A few years ago I was invited to write a chapter in what has become a very successful book of stories from women who overcame insurmountable odds,
"From Us For You."
My chapter is called, "The Girl who got Raped and Became Great."
It was risky not only because sexual assault victims are blamed and shamed, they are often threatened with lawsuits if they disclose the name of their rapist.
I've always said, it's not slander if it's true. So, bring It on. ;->
In the audio version of my chapter, I say the name of my rapist...
Scott Kimble of St. Louis.
Okay my Honored Sacred Seekers of Knowledge, I am grateful to you for hearing a small piece my unexpected journey.
My Best Wishes of Luck and Love to You!
Warmest, Jane